In Memory of Alexander Rene Boutilier

In Memory of Alexander Rene Boutilier

What the Man Meant to me

There is nothing I can say or write that will make the loss any less bitter that it is.

It has been a fairly long time since I have written anything or put anything of significance out into the world. I'll be brief in saying that I have and continue to have my share of problems.

A week ago a very good friend, Alexander, passed away in a motorcycle accident in his new home country of South Korea where he leaves behind a family, whose loss I cannot even begin to comprehend.

When I was around twenty or so, I first met Rene through another close friend, Paul Aaron Hare. Specific memory fails me, but on a caffeinated sugar binge, the words came out, "let's go over to the
Brotherhood and hang out with Ne'Ne and Heaver (Heather Van Buren). Sounded like fun and it was.

The brotherhood of Dada and consequently Rene – whose character was infused into the very essence of the place, was completely unforgettable. Somehow, even to this day, the colour combination of green and purple still stands out in my mind as a warm reminder of the time I spent there, and somehow it was aesthetically pleasing despite its absurdity.

Though many have described Rene as larger than life, and I would venture to add, a very gregarious extrovert, he also had an introverted and thoughtful side, that you would eventually meet if you were close to him. He would still take the time to know people who displayed less obvious charisma and presence than his own.

Though he could be brutally critical of serious character flaws and especially thoughtlessness in others (aren't most of the good people at one time or another), Rene took the time to at least grok most people he came into contact with, and in my case, I felt richer for it. In retrospect, I think Rene valued both good friends and time itself, which I can paraphrase with life is short, why waste it on boring or obnoxious people or pursuits.

In Rene, I found a kindred spirit, with a list of eccentricities that matched or exceeded my own, and a depth of character that made you want to know him better. He had a razor sharp wit, and a well rounded intelligence that made you want to share thoughts and ideas, someone you could have a serious intellectual conversation with for hours on end, or joke around with until you were both nearly breathless with laughter.

I still remember the time Rene, one day, decided to experiment, going off on one of his mental tangents, like a mad scientist, and make rope, with a found bag of scrap linens, and two parking meters, right outside of the house. Personally, when ever I do this sort of thing, the one person that I think of is Rene.

I believe that if you have a brain capable of even the most rudimentary reflection and consideration, you will understand that everyone you meet and spend time with, good and bad times included, will change who you are, in which respect I would have to say that Rene was one of the people that has had left an indelible impression on my own life and way of thinking. At one point, I failed to mention earlier, Rene opened his home to me, and gave me a place to live, but more importantly a place to begin finding out who I was going to be as an adult, while I experienced what I now consider a second childhood, with a gang of roommates I now consider to be a second family of sorts. So much of what I am now, comes from that time at the house remembered as, "The Brotherhood of Dada," and my time hanging out with the irreplaceable Rene.

I am unsure of the existence of an afterlife, but then again, who alive is? I would like to believe that there is something beyond this level of existence, just so I have a chance to have a few more conversations, or debates, or drinks, or shared mental tangents, with my friend Alexander Rene Boutilier, whom I hope understands how much of an affect he had on all of us, and how much he is missed already.